Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Life,as we know it (My cross roads 4)

We never ever grow old of our admiration for super heroes. That's why old men are still making marvel comic movies and nollywood is still trying to create what looks like an action movie. I liked superman when i was younger. I used to wish i had super powers, until today when i realize that along with being put in a saviour/warrior position,comes some really hard responsibilities. Such as decisions and actual combat(shriek)!

Suddenly i am questioning, How can i be a super heroe when i do not have the cape, and i do not even like wearing spandex!I've mentioned before that my bulging crotch even makes me super picky in selecting boxer sizes, talk less of wearing spandex and red pants in public!

Suddenly i am making excuses of, "I have a stutter,you know i stammer, how do you expect me to speak up against authorities!" What if it turns out that what i believed in and stood up for was all crap? What if i lifted up my magic staff/wand and the seas did not part? What if an eqyptian arrow hits me as we make our way through the red seas?!

And to start with, what do i know about the art of warfare in the first place? One sobering fear that gets to me every now and then in these thoughts is an old acquaintance who carried his big head like mine and said he was going to war against cultural affirmation. He did good for a while until he travelled home to the East during holidays and his car crashed - killing him, his wife, and leaving a toodler child orphaned and at the mercy of the heartless villager's tug of war for inheritance. #Shudders# How i wish i was carribbean!
But i try to reassure myself that that's a lone incidence,and hey, i'll be just fine,would still be running my mouth all over the place until i am 95 and need braces to keep them from dropping off my jaw!

And these are all just primal fears,aren't they? Should we live our lives and make decisions just because we were afraid? What if i was right....what if? What if i turned and ran,and that voice remained as a haunt through my days,telling me, "You should have stayed,you should have fought this." But that's all action movie talk...Groan..i wish someone would turn off the sky digital channel that my days have become.

Someone recently said to me: The thing about our African traditions and all of the nay-sayers is that,they never consider what will happen to the other person who has become the object of scrutiny. All we want to do is save our own face. And the sad sad thing in all of these,and even my own meandering thought is that, i know without a doubt that,if i was the one in the position wherein she finds herself today, and she was faced with the choice to stick by me or not,she'd never ever walk away from me. It doesn't still make it any easier does it...choice is such bitch. I swear,at the end of all these,i'll put up a shiny 32 grin of me lounging in the carribean brandishing my new nationality passport. You can all be there singing:

Me,personally,i've had it with all the bullsh*t! #FightThis T.N#


  1. Thing is, we can never know the future. Feel the fear and do it anyway if it makes you happy!!!

    Muse Origins (Creative Nigerian Features)
    Muse Origins

  2. Heyy you, bin a while!! Totally feeling what you're going through. No-one can predict the future, but we SURE AS HELL can make it WHATEVER we want it to be. Just do whatever makes you happy. It's YOUR life and you have only 1 to live!

    Best wishes in all you do, take care.. XOXOX

  3., traditions... the whole hullabaloo just tire me!
    i want to be French as opposed to your being Carribean! :)

    E go beta!

  4. Hmmm...

    Read all four parts and all I can say is you will find the answers you seek... I know it might sound cliche but soon you would look back over this and realize you got through it....

    I know and trust that you would do the right thing but in all this I will say a prayer for you

    I loved the way you ended the post though "I swear,at the end of all these,i'll put up a shiny 32 grin of me lounging in the carribean brandishing my new nationality passport. You can all be there singing: One day by Eldee"...

    Love you man!

  5. Oh oh! T.notes is in bad shape. I pray for the strength to be able to pull through this. I read all 4 parts of it and I felt so sad for you.
    Just find a reason to smile, hope and pray that everything will work for you and soonest.
    And here's a deal, if you come to my blog this weekend, I promise to put something that will make you smile. Deal?
    Please hang in there, don't get all worked up. There's always a way out.
    All the best!

  6. @MsJB: As always,you're such an angel!!!See why all those guys r sending u offlines asking to marry you away!Lol!Thanx4 the prayers,but uhmm,not the sadness abeg!Life is all Life is-curveballs and sunshine around some corners,but we make it thru eventually. Will def stop by ur blog for that smile.

    @BaldBlackBoy:Lol!!!Whats up with the new blog name/handle!!!Haha!U know i can't forget Yada (referring to one of ur old accusations). Thanx man-4 the prayers et all. I'm peachy.

  7. @Kiah: Hey you!Howz the move doing?Hmmm,tu pal francais??I am certain i got that wrong!

    @Aeesha: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!!!Missed you!!!

    @Muse: True True. Thanx.

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  9. Hahaha no comments, T.Notes, no comments
    It's there now :)

  10. Tnotes I think I get where all this is going.

    At first with all the last wishes of parents stuff I thought it was like terminal illness or even death and they wanted you to relocate or something

    abaut with this final piece i think you impregnanted a lady, and is being adviced by culture to marry her but you prefer to flee for your freedom sake

    please correct me if I am wrong, i am just analysing :)