Friday, August 28, 2020

T.Notes#55: August (All i've got)

Last night we masked our emotions

under the pouring rain,

as it finally dawned on us

That we are never going to be different.

I pleaded to know how you felt

But you drowned out my piety,

With red wine and that bitter sweet

Leandria Johnson song,

All i got.

Maybe wild souls were never made to be tamed,

Created by design

To amuse the heavens

With their wild wanderings and errors.

Do you remember when we raised our fists to the heavens

And made honest threats to God?

We swore that if he ruinned us

He'd pay dearly for our agony.

God bless our foolish souls

I saw you naked the first time in three years

Alone in a boutique london hotel.

We spoke honestly about our imperfections

About private flaws that only heaven and ourselves know about.

So here we are,

with our mastered theater of external perfection

Whilst grappling inside with

a fckd up mind, failing health

And burnt out spirits buckling under the weight of trying to rise above the impossible.

I guess what i am trying to say is,

I have been trying to get these words,

These narratives entirely flawless for You.

Here they are now

Thirty-something years late and just as flawed as when we first began.

I think...

I think these words are ready now

I think i am ready now.

Where do we go from here?

God knows we can't fall any harder.

And the vessel that he made of clay

was marred in the hand of the potter;

so he made it again into another vessel,

as it seemed good to the potter to make.

Jeremiah 18:4

Written to a late night

background of

Leandria Johnson,

All i got.

These are my T.Notes