Friday, October 19, 2012

Randoms....Dear Manager in f%^ words and pictures

My manager told me today to 'make more use of colors and pictures in my presentations'. I told him i'm a +^% analyst not a pre-school artist! He grumbled that i never accept anybody else's constructive heck, here toast to words & pictures dear ^%&^ manager!

This is me:
I'm a guy with the big head who considers have a pretty girl(friend) to up your confidence game.

I have big dreams...and every step in my life has been in pursuit of making these dreams come true...and very many life altering decisions i have made.

Yet i find it a bleeding irony, because for all of the decisions,i feel all i have done is repeatedly altered my geographical location yet remaining in the same rut.....

Three years ago, I had coffe break looking out to third mainland bridge traffic trying to figure out what exactly i'm doing in this place. Today, I have coffee looking out over Canary wharf still thinking what exactly i'm doing with my all makes zero sense. So i have concluded that work is just work. Lets just keep singing FML every morning, pay the bills, and get back to the drawing board to find the master-plan...or Master's plan...

I am a Christian....and here is the irony in that...There is a ridiculous order of priorities in my existence at the moment. I say a few seconds of prayer when i kick out of bed in the morning, do my devotions whilst taking a dump, and muse a rambling to God whilst commuting to work about how i hate my life. I wonder how xtain i am....but i think my heart is very earnest about the predominantely worship music on my ipod.

I am very introspective, hence very easily prone to stupid bouts of depression. But instead of getting all suicidal and sad, i just get sarcastic. And all these oyinbo people will be thinking s%&t is funny...until they see suicide note,then they will be saying, 'OMG, boy, you mean he was for real?' But nahhh....

I know pain like i know the lengths of the stretch marks at the back of my hand. I have screamed as the car collided into ours and the windscreens shattered...I have raced through traffic to the hospitals...I have made frantic calls home and felt helpless as my world crumbled a thousand miles seperating me from the reality of things...I have curled up as the pains returned. I have been under the doctor's instruments...I have fought for loved ones...I know pain like i know the lengths of the stretch marks. On account of these,i think he makes more grace abound. But i keep fearing that i have not seen the worse of things,so instead of living being thankful for the sun and the birds, i am sceptic that one day God will let the worst happen...This is not a pretty inspiring devotional page...this is many of us have come to know...Pain happens, and Life must be beautiful still.

So dear boss, i'm sure by now you will agree, that it is a safer bet to just let me stick to the number charts and boring graphs that i am trained to do. All this talk about pictures and colors, just brings out the worst in me.

To end things on a cheerier note. Dear God, could you give me a really pretty, super adorable daughter. I promise to love and pamper her silly. And we'll both have a super sense of humour and watch intelligent youtube comedies and DefPoetry shows like Wyclef's immigrant...none of all these TONTO DIKE Sumthings!

Randoms...clearing mind clutter....

All of life is a random blog..

1. Life is hard...and sometimes it all just makes zero sense.

2. Whenever i sign into blogger, i end up wandering blogsville till 2a.m...

3. These days I'm fed up with Nigeria, my ends up a loathesome situation because for the most parts, I can't stand London, and America gets on my nerves...So many of us just end of as foreigners living in the middle of some limbo with no real place to call home.

4. God....

5. Some people in my life are super awesome person...

6. Blank

7. Blank

8. I'm sick of is a complex situation how the thought of it just repulses me.

9. God....

10.I'm travelling in a few days...looking forward to that.

11. I hate change.

12. I confess that i couldn't quite stand Myne Whitman some years ago. I couldnt understand what the big deal was about a Nigerian love story book. I confess that I still have not read her book...but over the years, i've frequented her blog and grown a healthy respect for her. The current issues asides...I think she's really awesome.

13. I swear to God, all these tabloid blogs sha.

14. I bought a large ....and we had a massive laugh about the whole situation.....

15. Laughter is...fickle.

16. This is the reason why i think some people are super awesome...because some of us frankly just admitt that we need a shrink....

17. People are hard to rely on. So it makes me wonder why we give such a bother about what people think. Nobody really gives a rats backside about anybody, so why not live-out-loud?

18. Today, i stood at a cross road between a club, and kfc...then i pushed open the slide doors and ordered a snack box with one piece of chicken, loads of ketchup and ice cold pepsi.

19. I have doubts about God's promises...i wonder what that makes me, and what He thinks about that. I'm not having fickle doubts..instead i'm questioning the rationale of some of the instructions in the wondering out loud, 'uhmmm, i'm not sure this makes sense you know.'....i think that's another level of heresy, but i can't stop the thoughts.

20.I have all this..stuff, and it still doesnt even make sense.

21. Some folks are full of rubbish and i know i have my own garage truck full of racist tendencies....

22. What is it with all these comments moderation word verification nonsense all over people's blogs? Do you know how much effort it takes to squint and try to get those words right. STOP PUNISHING YOUR READERS. It is not fair!!!

23. How often do you wish someone would 'get you' right to the very depth of your soul? But its funny that when you find that possibility in a person, you start to consciously reserve the 'right of access' to 'all of you'. Feeling violated at the thought of a stranger trespassing every secret corner of your being without permisssion. So you withdraw, and only offer bits and pieces of you...then start to wish again for someone to entirely completely 'get you' the very core of your soul. Its a stupid vicious circle.

Yet, all of life is a random blog..