Sixty-nine million words,
Fifteen life changing decisions,
Seven countries,
And i still haven't found what i'm looking for.
Lately i've been thinking
About what the pinnacle of satisfaction looks like.
When do you know
that you have achieved what your wandering heart is searching for?
I have watched myself every night
stare absently at a boiling tea kettle,
nibbling cotton candy to quench my hunger,
whilst my faith fizzles back and forth like careless steam,
and reckless thoughts of flight teases my mind again.
Lately i've been thinking...
That the idea of being deeply spiritual
is a beautiful thing
But it can also lead you
into some very messed up life decisions.
God save our souls.
I read about how every decision we make becomes part of the story of our life.
They say someday you would like to sit
with your kids or spouse and tell your story.
But you will pause and wonder which chapters are better censored or erased..
Lately i've been thinking...
That it is easy to find laughter.
To find an idea that tickles your soul
And just let it rip - laugh out loud and long
And by God, do it all over again.
So last night we roasted Corn and "Boli'
on a garden spitfire grill
Whilst it snowed outside in Canada
Making mockery of our laughable attempts to recreate childhood memories.
Lately i've been thinking...
That the Bible is full of reckless promises
Never will I leave or forsake you.
You don't even know me
Or do You?
Yet here we are..
Returning every day from your rented life,
To crawl through murky waters
of your own errors and cruel intentions
To find a sit at the foot of Kings.
Lately i've been thinking...
About how it is easier to worship my emotions
But if you stay long enough
I promise you will hear a quiet voice,
Saying this is the way you should go.
But what about OCD traits which have rudely taken over our minds
Yet time after time,
The same stupid obsessive introspection
Will pull us safely from our own worst inclinations
Lately i've been thinking...
That i still haven't found what i'm looking for.
But hope is the untiring expectation
That joy will come someday.
So I beg you again to consider
That the skies will not fall
The heavens will not cave in.
Oh I wish that you'd breathe
And save room in our wandering
For hope and for tomorrows.
Lately i've been thinking...
Dear Jesus,
This mind will not let me be
So I have been thinking...
That you play that same song on repeat
Every night tossing on your bed
As if battling with your desperate soul
To accept the uneasy notion
That just maybe
God is intentionally good to you.
Lately i've been thinking.