Thursday, September 18, 2014

Please leave your accents in the office car parks on fridays.


I went out for a karaoke party with a bunch of unfamiliar friends, and everybody spoke with an accent.
Problem was...everybody in that room was Nigerian,
and the minimum age that any of these people had relocated was at the very least, fifteen.

So i watched, alternating between amusement, to bewilderment, to a tinge of irritation,
wondering why Nigerians were faking foreign accents to Nigerian friends,
As one over-dressed female would speak to her male partner - with a twang,
and the boyfriend/husband would reply her in like manner, also chewing on his tongue,
then her female friend would cackle in a fit of OMG's, before carrying on the banter.

I thought to myself, like seriously?
Even the men have time for this iranu?!
So there i was wondering if this was a very unusual East London Nigerian community thing,
or if i had been completely out of the loop of social etiquettes amongst Nigerians living abroad?

Oh, i love the Nigerian gift of being able to swing accents as required,
and how easily we're able to fake it to blend in.
I think it's a charming skill...and i've had a few indian friends enviously agree.

I think it is of particular benefit in the office environment, or the multinational social settings.
But i'll never for the life of me understand what happened in that Karaoke bar that night.
Who anybody was trying to impress,
If i had missed out on the memo to come and act stupid,
or if i just dreamt up the whole disgrace amongst grown-up folks.

I conluded that there are three types of Nigerians living abroad.
These Karaoke bar bunch, who don't have the common sense to leave the accents behind when meeting up with Nigerian mates,
The late bloomers who think that everywhere is Isale Eko - the types that give everybody a headache when they are taking a phone call on public transport,
And the sensible ones somewhere in between.

I think that...

There is something about a Nigerian girl's unapologetic accent and laughter that is just absolutely fantastic. One of the reasons i listen to Tosin Bucknor's radio show on a random thursday morning.


Photo credit: www.josenavarronyc.com

P.S: I agree, the word verification thing is annoying, so yes, i'll turn it off for a while and see how that works.

21 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Tell me about it! SMH.
      P.s. belated congratulations Sisi Yemmie ;)

      Delete
  2. Even for Nigerians living abroad, there is nothing more irritating than listening to someone you know from back home speaking to you with an accent. I'm like "Aunty, we went to secondary school together o, calm down"!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha! Aunty will tell you conditions and mother tongue have upgraded since secondary school. Call it 'finishing school'!

      Delete
  3. Looooool "memo to come and act stupid" I actually don't even know how these people do it. I have tried and tried to be able to switch accents like that but I can't. That too much "spri spri" accent gives me headache sef

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So in other words, you have maintained default mode at 'innit' and 'wanna' abi?! God is watching you! Loool!

      Delete
  4. Bwhahaha!!! Shit annoys the eff out of me. In my mind, I am thinking, "Aunty, I moved to the US before you did. Ki loun je 'fori' (FORTY)? I turn on an accent only because of all these wereys saying 'pardon' 20 times!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmmm Ayodeji is all about the 'fori dollars' and 'innit bruv'! Loool!!!
      Loool@ 'wereys saying pardon 50 times'!

      Delete
  5. Lmao! I guess its just the ""Fake it Till you make it"" movement getting stronger :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As long as it gets you to where you're going to.... not to 'flossing in karaoke bar junction' abi.

      Delete
  6. Oh T.Notes!!! (I'm just hailing you)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Dew!!! :) Hailing ya right back!

      Delete
  7. Ayodeji is going to kill me with laughter...ki loun je 'fori.'? Loool. Anyway...Ore reckons I've got four different accents, so I'm one to talk. I'll bet they're all authentically Nigerian though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Four different ones. So you're part of them aiii?! Show us the way Adura!!! Lol ;)

      Delete
  8. Lmao!!! Tnotes hang in there. Doubt it'll get any better tho... you'll just have to learn to 'stomach' it all ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Think about how annoying it gets when the person in question is in Nigeria and has always been... I think people now purchase accents at shoprite.
    I loved the piece...as usual,

    ReplyDelete
  10. Nigerians and their accents. I actually addressed this sometime back on my blog (http://kazinidaily.com/bleaching-the-right-way-we-are-all-bleached/)
    Accents seem to get things done in Nigeria. Yet, i feel if we were all ourselves things would be so much easier..lol.
    Lovelypost. Stop by my blog sometimes..www.kazinidaily.com.
    xx from Kenya

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lmao why did I read this in the office ?????? loooooooooolllllll

    ReplyDelete
  12. I known a girl like that, back home in lagos she speaks with her normal Nigerian accent but once we are in school(Anambra) she switches to this tiny and irritating oyibo accent

    ReplyDelete