Friday, June 21, 2013

Hehehe Kasala don burst...all up in this place!!!!!

I wrote a piece herein some months back, about a very random incident where i discovered that a friend's wife owns an annonymous blog, and she knew that i knew. My ever-sleuthful and resourceful self, I had neatly peeled away every facade and firewall she had set up, leaving no room for denial until she broke and begged me to keep a secret. I cannot recall if i ended up deleting that particular entry, but anyway, I received a frantic call late last night, asking me to meet K up at a local KFC. My spider senses immediately went hay-wire, because responsible married women are not allowed that level of fine randomness at 10:30pm.

I met a lone K behind a tall glass of pepsi and an untouched KFC snack box. I slid into the booth next to her, forcing a toothy grin into what was obviously a strained situation. She didn't allow any complimentaries.

The situation:
K had dozed off with an unattended private brower left open and her husband, J had returned home from work earlier than usual. She said she woke up to find him reading the blog. She panicked and left the house.
Admittedly my response was not the ideal one, but i could not help the involuntary cackle that escaped my mouth "Kasala don burst all up in this place mehn!"

I am usually not one to do the 'I told you" routine, but i definitedly told K-and she did not listen. People need to listen to me more often, i tell ya. I recalled how i had dissected and fully explained the precariousness of the situation to her, even citing my own dilemmas with "blogging and the unknowing partner". Thing is, if you have blogged for..let's even cap at a minimum of twelve months...chances are, a significant part of you starts to get unravelled on these pages. And when the blog is annonymous,and your partner is unaware, then it becomes a certain type of infidelity. Private browsing, late night blog posting, unexplained friendships with people that you cannot rationally explain the origin of where you know them from...such is the life. One time, i watched K laugh off an enquiry from J, saying that a certain random female friend (blogger), whom she called up to get her out of a fix during her trip in gidi, was...just a friend who fell from the sky! And the lies and necessary deception carry on like a ball of hay down a straw mountain.

My advice then was simple: Kill the blog, OR run a massive EDIT programme and confess your sins to your hubby. She did neither and so here we were, watching an asian immigrant mop up KFC tiles at 11pm whilst ignoring a blarring mobile phone's incessant ringing.

"What's your plan now?" I always believe that you should give everybody the first chance to dig themselves out of their own scrape.
"I don't know! Come home with me, and help me talk to him."
"And tell him what, exactly?"
"That it is not my blog."
"I thought you said he has read it."
"I know. I'm still going to deny everything."
"K, anybody who knows you and reads that blog with any tinge of suspicion will immediately put one on one together. How else do you think i found out? There is no lawyer on earth that can win that level of denial to your husband."
"There is no evidence. I've deleted the blog."
She showed me her android and the blogger interface and i knew K had gone mad.

The situation re-cap:
Husband discovers questionable blog. Wife panicks and leaves house. Blog URL suddenly stops working whilst husband is reading. Wife returns home after midnight. Husband is livid and wants answers. Wife claims ignorance. Uhmmm....who's going to buy that?!!!

Ofcourse, the finer details of what went on - as far as resolution goes, in K&J's house is best left undiscussed for obvious reasons.
But the situation still begs the question:
Is 'I do" = "I do not blog?"

I'm not talking here about the fine literary accomplishments of the Myne Whitmans or the faithful opinions and litanies of the Inyamu's Eldorado or Miss Fab's, which in their own right ought to be displayed without abandon for the world to appreciate and applaud. Instead, i am talking about the cacaphony of mid-life-crisis-type blog rants owned by supposed masked crazies who drink their lives full like tipsy glasses of fine chardonnay and tip over every intricate detail with reckless naked abandon on blinking blogger cursors. It is the nature of honesty in those pages that nobody is man(or woman) enough to own up to...And so the entries get fewer and fewer, until a sad day like this morning, when i key in the URL to one of my favourite blogs and get the unfortunate response:

Blog not found
Sorry, the blog you were looking for does not exist. However, the name "abcdef" is available to register!

It is indeed a sad sad day when a blog dies - just evaporates into thin air as if it was never there in the first place.
So, not entirely permitting five faithful years of blog diaries to simply poof into nothingness, here's a respectful salute to my girl K!

To all the lost ones...Veni, Vidi, Vici.

Someone better write me a neat moving piece when my time comes!


  1. Lol wow...its sad and funny sha. I feel for K. So how did she sort out the mess? Hmmm I have NO plans of granting my husband access to my blog i guess but at least he knows I have a blog. I try not to talk about blogger too much so I dont spark too much curiosity or interest on the issue.

    1. Lol....Hey B. So,see no evil,speak no evil...Smart perspective. I'll be curious to know how that changes 6months down the line with SM. What do they say about keeping no secrets... Havent caught up with K lately, so dont have an update unfortunately.

  2. I still don't know sha. All those cup crazy fulls of life you do not see on my blog are spilled out to you know who. Otherwise they die inside me or go in a private journal of blog. So if the public can read all your intimate thoughts, albeit as an anonymous, why not your #1 fan/friend/cheerleader? I do should= I do blog. I think.

  3. When your time comes bi bawo? No try that thing o!

    Personally, I do = I do blog and I may show you at some point. "May" being the operational word. lol. Anyways, I write those intimate posts in my head...Half the time. The other half is why I may not show him...sigh...I dunno jare. This is some shit-hits-the-fan business. Major.

  4. Hmmmm I definitely enjoyed this post.It's sad that her blog had to die,but it's definitely never a good thing having an anonymous blog that your partner doesn't know about.Like you said,it's a kind of infidelity.

  5. This is kasala really.

    For some the anonymous blog is like a personal diary(,but with interaction with readers).
    I do= I have an online diary,I may share wit you.

    I dunno how she wants to explain her way outta this sha. Esp if she had posts that hit closer home.

    And no,your time shouldn't come!

  6. This one na serious kasala.

    I could never keep my blog a secret from my Boo. He might have to pass some intangible test of trust before i let him read it but it won't be a secret.

    But if I am living a life NOW radically different from my past and dont plan to divulge it to my husband, I would delete my blog asap. Clean slate and all abeg.

  7. was her blog that incriminating that she had to delete it? curious.

  8. Sigh...I had to stop my anonymous blog also...somethings are better left in your head if you are not ready to share with the world.

  9. LOL this is a flick!
    Sorry I'm laughing but really, it's not easy to be a blogger
    Mine is easier, I'm not anonymous. I basically type the words imagining the expressions that everyone in my life would have when they read what I (not the disguised image, JanylBenyl) has to say. If I wouldn't want to tell it to them face to face, then I do not bother blogging about it. It used to be hard initially, now I've mastered the art. Something's are better left unshared
    I feel so sorry for her. Now she has to start trying to earn her partner's trust all over again, that is if she even has a chance

  10. Big kasala!!! I can imagine the wahala on ground.
    If what u write isn't suitable for public consumption,it should be better left unshared,cuz u never can tell,one day person fit still know u,equals to big kasala like u said.*phew*!

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