I lost my faith🥀
I lost my faith
in a crowded hospital parking lot
Clutching final medical results for a dear one
And screaming my lungs
like a badly written script.
Sometimes we take flight🦅
It is not absurd
When life forces you to lose faith
in simple things like
Prayer, hope and a God of justice.
We are only human.
We found a local banku joint🍻
And allowed the day idle away
until the canteens closed shops
and the kitchen stewards exchanged cutleries for stilettoes and flavored condoms.
These are the days of our lives.
Heaven pardon our intoxicated nights🎭
Reggae dancehall, Konshens,
cheap alcohol damning every boundary of decency.
Skin, sweat and inhibited sexuality of total strangers mangled into each other.
Days we'd go any length to feel alive🐂
As if holding our own lives by its cuffs,
acting out and daring heaven's attention.
Whilst the local choir reminded us in the morning that we were bruking off our souls closer to damnation.
Dad used to talk about
making it to heaven
on a broken wing and a tired prayer.
With our multitude of questions abandoned
this side of eternity,
Doubts and anger exchanged for wonder.
I found my faith on a rainy monday🦋
It returned bandy legged, sensibly cynical
and no longer demanding the heavens
for my share of the miraculous.
An unsensational type of faith
In an assuredly quiet and sturdy sort of way
I am that guy🍃
Who is looking past your kodak charm
To fall in love instead
With the stunning bookcase behind you
Wondering if you read Tozer
And if you are also broken like me.
If heaven reads a blog✒
Tell Dad that i am the wild one
who wandered and wrestled..
And after all is said, done and broken
I think i am still hanging on
Four years and counting
On a wing and a quiet prayer.
This is remembering.