Monday, January 31, 2011

The Quiet....

The results ahead,
The Job,
The Bills,
The white folks pissing me off,
The family stress,
The worries,
The fears,
The worthlessness,
The nothingness,
.....I don't even have the strength the lament.....

You know somedays you just tire of strength to even "hope".
But it will work out, won't it...somehow....???

The thing about a man is,you just cannot let them see how you are toottering under the weigth of it all.

And the thing about this man is, nonetheless, you still gotta take it all, and keep "fixing it". You know,bullshit happens,and they bring it to you to "fix it" and make it right..and even when you are a literal mess, you still...gotta do what you have to do...somehow.

Oh,my baby gets back tomorrow. Slim,black,supple skin,i've missed her die, can't wait to get my hands all over her locked up in the cozyness of flat 86,just me and her for hours,exploring every crevice of her wanton body...oh Toshiba T135,come back home.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Noooo,don't leave me!..and other notes to naughty bloggers!!!!

Nothing hurts more than realizing she meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to her.Sighhh...tears!When you break up, your whole identity is shattered. You are no longer alive.**Sniff. Oh well,i guess i did see it coming..but how it hurts so!!!Tissue!..and other famous breakup expressions of sadness...

Anyways peeps,it is with heavy heart that i announce that come tomorrow,a knock will come on my door, and i will be waiting for it. It will be a grimm meeting. No pleasantries, no chat-up lines,only the going through the motions of the harsh formalities. (Oh,i don't know how i'll get through this!)For those who have my numbers, ensure you call your boy, and send frequent encouragements, you know,ensure that i'll still be in one piece! Ooh,the agony!!!How will i make it through the days ahead!

I JUDGE MENA!!!You jinxed me with your evil words warning me to stay away from those vixen models!!!

Anyways,as you can see,all of my witt's strength fails me even as i pen these notes, and there just isn't any decorated way of saying this,so here goes:

"Tomorrow, there're coming for my laptop!!!!"

Freaking thing has been acting the foolery, so not being able to take it anymore,i've called toshiba and activated my warranty rights. So anyway, the essense of this note is that i'll be laptop-less for the next twoo weeks or so. Hence,my withdrawal symtoms begin..i will do bes to take it like a man. And yup, before the inevitable happens (unless if i call them up at the last minute and let them know that i could not go through with it anymore!)i will do some comment replies here, and some naughty shoutouts to my fav blogger peeps, just incase i am a.w.o.l for too long. Oh, i will certainly pop in often,just don't know if i'll be able to update freely. (Cos i do not update unless its off my own pc!)

Yeah (rubbing hands), here goes my peppering ya'll,in response to my modelling post and randomly as you come to mind.

1. To all who graciously passed on the stylish blogger award thingy to me. Ooooh,mucho gracias!!!I had a long speech prepared,but alas, the seperation does not afford me to publish it just yet. But i will reciprocate as soon as i return!

2. @Mena: Yes,you are 1st!Beware,you are commencing on a journey of which you are not capable of negotiating the treacherous terrains!Nobody trades undertones with T.Notes and leaves to tell the tales!!!I gave you due chance to take back those subtle jabs and INSTEAD,you add salt and pepper to the festering ego wounds!!!In the words of the terminator,I WILL BE BACK...!And when i do, perhaps,i will educate you on the complexity of how marriage never did/could solve the issues of a man's maraunding hormones!

3. @naughty J: Thank you jare.Help me treat her f*up!

4.@Yankeenaijababe: Thanx4 the award hun. The award i hand over to you is, that of most consistently licorish sweet and classy femme du bloggerville. Oh lala!

5.@Tega and Beautiful: SMH...i do not get these two!The conspiracy theory that's festering in my head right now is how someday i will walk in and happen on these two torridly doing the naughty.These love affair between the two of you is giving me cause for concern. The kingdom of God is at hand!*wink*

6.@Harry: If you do not make all these dreams that you have finely elucidated on blogger come true very soon,i'll be sooo disappointed in you man!!Make it happen man!

7.@Lara: I think Lara is just the coolest chic on blogger. I no fit shout!

8.@Nicole: Thanx4 dropping by girl. Ur novel rocks,plsssss don't stop!

9.She: I like She...she's like a mystery but i could never quite lay a finger on!

10.Audeo: We have scores to settle!

11.P.E.T: Let's do coffee sometime soon?!

12.Myne: Whatever...You're a star already,i'm not adding to your mountaneous acclaim jor!lol!

13. Shoutout to gmail,skype and other offbloggers: Main man musco, YN-the love of my life!!!!!Audeo,technocoleur girl,Nifty neefemi,and ehmm xoxo!

14. I am now getting tired and writing and need to return to hugging my laptopn these last few hours we have together!

15.oh,@vanity: This girl sha!

16.@The dy prof: I salute sir!

17.@Wild boy: Give me your sister's number na!!!!How many times will i beg you. Your shakara sef is too much!lol!

18.Ehmm,if i no drop your name, abeg, na tiredness cause am, else you have been a.w.o.l yourself for a while.

19. Have i mentioned clueless?!!

20.@ Oga, My Nest of Flames, Ashes and Rebirth...No bi so we dey maintain blog o!!!You just tintillated the ladies and thereafter disappeared!lol!No worry,i understand. "This blogging thing sef, na hard work, abi!"

21.@Sisi-yemmie: The one and only sisi yemmie!Haha,you saved my butt recently!Went to sweetheart's house recently, and was caught for a momnet in those akward moments of silence with rest of the family, and guess what came to mind which i deftly used to commence a long hilarious chitchat?!A blog update of urs!!!Hide your wife, hide your kids!!!lol!

22. Ok, this has got to be the longest blog in the history of blogger.

23. Really...i have tried, if i have not mentioned a love to you, you know i love you still!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

If you can guess the movie...

Paul Chambers plays a mellow score at the background.

He says: Yes...I live live in...Everybody in the world knows who you are; my mother has troubles remembering my name.

She says: Fine...Fine...Good decision...Good decision.

She adds: The fame thing really isn't real you know. Don't forget, i'm also just a girl, standing infront of a boy..asking him to love her.

She reaches over to plant a pleasant kiss on his cheek, notions at the gift, then exits the store.

Gosh,can't wait to be done with this M.Sc, and so help me god people,if i dare mention that i'm having any thoughts of a p.hd or the like,somebody pls CALL ME BACK TO MY SENSES URGENTLY! After this,i'm so done proving points to anybody!

*Honestly...The preferred next course of learning is an M.A in creative writing, and i have no idea yet how i'll fund that! Ever feel like you need to pay attention for once to your subtle heart's know give your dreams a chance and see if just maybe that will calm your restless wandering discontents??That's the plan oooo!!!Relish the thought: Just abandon career books aside for a period and actually give the pen a chance. I would so love that! I'd slotted it into my 2011 goals,and without a doubt,i will update once i kick that off!

Oh,n back to the movie! The 1st winner gets a .....

Thursday, January 13, 2011

@Mena: Even if I wanted to become an internet porn model!

Lol! That’s one heck of a title, but i am serious! (KMT) Well, you decide...

Yeah, so today I signed up a plum job with an internet sex modelling site! It’s called m***.com. Well if you busied over there you might quickly notice that, wait a minute, the models on mfc are for sensible reasons, only chics. Yes, my point exactly. Which is why i decided to break the norm. It’s a liberal labour market, isn’t it? If a woman can do it, a man can also! So, i was allocated a room, with a p.c , a webcam and the simple instructions to get my viewers horny. The hornier they get, the more tips i make and the more cash that goes into my pocket. (Ka-ching, cash-in baby!) Seems quite simple right? And safe too! I’d be within the confines of the room, there’ll be no drunk men/women trying to grab my succulent/turgid bits, and all i’d have to do is touch myself and fake an occasional orgasm to get the audience applauding. I had seen the girls in the other rooms do it, and as far as i was concerned, this was gonna be easy business, easy money. (Well, except for the bits of sticking things into my chocolate dark behind, that was definitely not gonna happen! Hell faggoty no way!) Anyways,if this worked out, by the end of the day, i’d easily pay off the winter electricity bill waiting for me at home. (grumble) Note that 500bucks is what eon sent my apartment for december’s electricity and gas bills! Do they not have mercy on students?!

So i started work, and within the first 5mins, i had 120visitors to my private cam room!

WTH! Haha,i was making cash and proving a point, i.e women have viral lusts too! Well,i hoped they were women viewers and i was not really dancing for oogling transvestite folks! My theme music was ‘eye of the tiger’, and i stripped slowly as the ladies egged me on, then i commenced to touching and stroking my turgid self. The tips were pouring in. The ladies wanted more.

Somebody asked me to serve some cream over my ‘quarter-pounder’, so i reached over for the chocolate syrup conveniently closeby, let it drip slowly down, then i proceeded to let my fingers do the talking.

Up, down, up, yeah sweetie, you like that uh, slowly up, down up...kapoow! Shoot! I couldn’t see my p.c screen anymore-as the juice from quaterpounder creampied the computer screen. *moan*. I’d only done ten minutes and 10bucks so far!

I quickly wiped some view off the p.c screen to check out my audience and noticed that they were fast migrating. The reason was obvious as i stared down with dismay...someone had clearly insisted that the party was over and he’d called it a night! So freaking unfair! And they talk about equality! Some career lines definitely do not favour the menfolk!

Hang on, hang on people, i can bring this party back to life. I screamed at the computer screen. Hold on a minute, i promise you this is not a regular occurrence, i’ve just had a stressful day, i usually keep this up for no less than an hour! Comeon boy, i muttered to QP,don’t let me down! Wake up champ, wake up! We need this money man! But like in the movies, champ just refuse to resurrect, and my numbers were going down to unit figures. Oh nooo!

MFC admin was not liking the viewer population streaming from my room, and soon a pound came on the door. ‘Alright T.Notes, out! Let someone productive occupy the room mate!’ I packed up my stuff and trudged out of the building, clearly my shift was over for the night. On my way out, i noticed texas4cum and agent 99 having a field day with lucent blue dildos and nipple thingys as the beautiful sounds of incoming tokens fluttered out from their work space.

Life is not fair to us men, just not fair i tell you! 100tokens gets a model on mfc 5dollars! And for doing nothing but dancing and touching herself in a private room in front of a webcam. Well well, we can argue the decency issue about her nakedness being on public display, but aww comeone, anyone who in the first place has no inclination against online sex exhibition definitely in my opinion does not have any qualms about the exposure bit. So that is not an argument in this instance. Some career lines are definitely just not fair to the menfolk! Tomorrow i’ll resume sending out mass applications and waiting on edge for the phonecalls.

Note to reader. Especially male readers. For very many obvious reasons, internet porn addictions can pretty much mess a guy up. Without listing the sum of them, the most practical reason is most of the cheesy sites easily stream malwares into your system, and i’m sure you are not ready to bear the cost of replacing a screwed laptop right now. Lol!!!!P.S....certainly these notes bear no semblance to actual played out reality...just another screwy t.note...or maybe not. *wink*wink*

Considering that the above represents my intelligent viewpoint on the worlds of internet sexing and hookups...Last word @Mena: Take back that comment about me and internet porn pronto!

Happy laugh-out-loud year from T.Notes to y'all!

Friday, January 7, 2011

....and a "date" with a blogger

Oh,and i met a certain female blogger in London. She wore black skin tights and a cream jacket.

After a gazillion text messages of 'where are you now?' and 'No,i didnt say stratford station!',we did chinese at the O2, saw a movie, the pub guy flirted a little with her, and at the end of the night she gave me a goodnight hug (comments reserved).Infact, my comments on the whole night's episodes is reserved...

P.S...i was at the eye hospital yesterday. They said i've been spending too much time on computers!Even too much blogging can be bad for you!

When FB becomes war territory! (NobleIgwe vs Penny)

Gosh i love a good ole dirty fight! Grabbing my popcorn and rooting for my boy,Nobs! Then again,Penny's a hottie though

**Noble Igwe a.k.a @Nobsdaslushkid!!! I'm saying this from the bottom of my heart, ure such an Ungrateful midget and I hand u over to God to judge!!! You make noise all over d place abt millions and a tiny token I gave to save ur stranded ass, u can't payback since august....I even waived the freaking debt n u can't say, 'Thank you'........***all dis wanna-be-popular-byforce-igboboys*** mscheeeeeew!!!!

Nick Harry and Esther Ogba Otse Okpozu like this..

Kela Alale Shuooooooooo

15 hours ago.Esther Ogba Otse Okpozu ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Penny what are you doing?!!!On Facebook?!!!what's the guy to do now?!

15 hours ago.Lydia Pollyn Chinekeee Peniel u pieces d midget swaggg sha! No b small wanna be pooular by force igbo boy*hmmm deep tots*seems like my story>insider
15 hours ago.Pennyel Sugababe John Ok, don't judge me! The goat refused to take my calls, reply my bbms or even sms!!! This is my last option!!!!

14 hours ago.Utibe Effiong ETHNIC SENTIMENTS ON FACEBOOK?

14 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · 1 personLoading....Mmakamba Eno Not sure its bout ethnicity I know its bout a midget settling his debt. Only if he wud be honest enof to admit he doesn't ve a conscience as much as he lies bout his escapades. penny old things ve passed away, behold its 2011!

14 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · 1 personLoading....Dorcas Ibigbeye Sekibo LOL, girl easy. abeg no vex.

10 hours ago.Ugo Henry Ejim Doesn't have anytin to do with being Ibo...Calabar, Ogoni, Yoruba people et al all have ingrates! Like say u never waive the debt I for tackle am for you. Lol!

7 hours ago.Alice Slimz Diz is so harsh......abeg oooo,,Noble Igwe no com razzle me ooo,,becos diz penny's msg haz said it all
B4 u go cme borrow my money all in d name of luv

7 hours ago via Facebook Mobile.Femi Akibu Penny hmmmm abeg gimme the contract to help you collect the money from the midget. I go package am very well.

6 hours ago via Facebook Mobile.Nick Harry Aww, never knew he was one of 'em unrepentant debtors you were crying about way back September. God has a reward for everyone of us!

6 hours ago.Pennyel Sugababe John Just allow him!!!! I just pity all the foolish boys and girls dat really feel he's all that and try to help him!!! When he was stranded, his foolish fans abandoned him!!!

6 hours ago via Facebook Mobile.Pennyel Sugababe John My dear uve seen it all oh! But in everything I give thanks

6 hours ago.Elizabeth Nwosu Are u kidding me peniel? how in God's name did ur paths cross???

6 hours ago.Elizabeth Nwosu so much for bieng a SLUT(SH) KID......HISSSSSSSSSS***

6 hours ago.Pennyel Sugababe John Lizzy, I knew him many years ago oh, when he was still working with virgin!!!!

6 hours ago.Elizabeth Nwosu kk.....i hear he finished from my uni but am not a fan @ all.

6 hours ago.Pennyel Sugababe John Yeah UNEC!!! My dear.... Proud fool.....I'm just angry at myself! See why I said I won't be nice again? He's not even the only one!!!

6 hours ago.Elizabeth Nwosu kpele dear. Don't allow such people stop ur blessings. not really worth it sha....

6 hours ago.Pennyel Sugababe John Yeah thanks

5 hours ago.Solomon Sule Wao! The way u finish d guy na wao, infact dis goes out to all the fake million boys outdia. Nna na wa

5 hours ago.Nehemiah Attigah this is below the belt Sugababe

4 hours ago.Nick Harry There're still many more out there & I just hope they will all be humiliated one after the other!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

The man who dared God. (Tales from the dead)

The place where heroes wings refuse to fly.

The words therein are a compilement of some hardly lived out experiences in the past few months; the depth of questioning of which many might not find comfortable, heck even i did not find me comfortable. If at the end you observe that i have disabled comments, then bear with me, i guess i already concluded on the matter by myself.

If i am to pen any introduction at all before jumping in, it would be this: ...until finally one morning, a deafening scream jerked me out of my sleep. My heart was pulsating fast; indeed i knew my heart was where the agonized cry originated from. I looked inward and i saw my soul bawled over like a weak child...she couldn’t take it anymore, she was desperately in need...of You again.

...Lend me your god.

Last nights i dreamt that i kissed the lips of blackness, plunging into the depth of deep dark oceans, meeting my worst fears face to face, and you know the dreams were not mere imaginations. Many are the voices that have spoken these past months and i hate the fact that you have let them wander freely unhindered through my mind. Voices that have ravaged and torn down every fabric of faithful conviction that we have spent lives of years building. Voices that have not sprung up without motive or notice; i know that they have been long coming, creeping and biding a time to eclipse my being. I hate that you sit there and allow this all to happen. I hate that you would not just show your face and calm my mind, but i guess, and yes realize that they will come to the best, even worst of us. Thoughts of pious righteousness becoming worse than filthy rags that i have stepped over in my confused search for something that yesterday i would have sworn was never missing. Many are the lips that have quietened me from speaking these foolish blasphemy, but you know that i would rather take this to the very limit. You know that i would not stop until i reach the last word, arrive at the last truth, the reason for which i would...or even should, believe you.

I have sat at the feet of many in these past months, and you have watched me without saying a word. I have listened to the sermons of atheists, tearing down any insensible reason why i should wait or hope for you. Why I should give a heart to a deity who kills, allows pain and remains quiet through my questions of why. I have watched the best of us surrender it all down in utter confusion. Yet i have pressed further even without understanding, if even he could not understand it anymore, why should i? Ooh these, you know are not the words of a child, instead of one who has stayed managed to stay close through ages and pain. If i would choose to question today, i only thought it would be fair for you to give me answers on time...before i went too far. Before i kissed these lips. Why should he die....even after all? Why should i struggle, if he would give up the struggle after more years? Why should i love you? What makes you different from the myriad of philosophies that abound? I know i have often made you flinch in these past days with my regardless utterances and pondering. But if you would see use of me, you know that my mind today would not rest until i can lay hold a coherent reason in my hands...of why i should die for you.

And the words from that diary went on and on....dark days

Fast forward to today....
One reason why i believe in you is:

Through the night my soul longs for you.
Deep from within me my spirit reaches out to you.
Because i find that my soul needs, longs for that anchor that only you could...would...give. I.26