T.Notes#34: Fall

I don't talk about this often.

The last time i laid on a surgeon's table,
The nurse suggested i stay awake this time.
I remember feeling cold and lifeless as my mind drifted.

I thought about how life is similar to playing a cruel game of Russian Roulette.
And about how Bambi had probably ruinned my chances of heaven or eternal paradises.

To each his own Archille's heel,
For some, it is in indulging the forbidden.
Just as the night before, we'd stood face-to-face, stark naked - body, spirit and soul.

"What is your weakness?", She had whispered.
Her brazenness reminded me of Bible stories,
Of strong men - conquered and reduced to play things.
Yet i was foolishly honest in my response.

I want everything - all that i cannot have and then some.
Bambi had become the pursuit which I had placed above everything else.
My satisfaction, is my god - i know.

The Igbo people say desire is the first child of Satan.
So as she smiled, leaned in close and asked me to kneel,
I concluded that i was going to hell.

Daddy used to say that some life mistakes are too costly to make -
That it is better to learn from the folly of the simple.
But i was always the curious kid who stared out the window at midnight....

I guess what i'm trying to say is,
The last time i laid on a surgeon's table,
I thought about the brevity of life, about second chances and about an old prayer:
Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.

This note is about self awareness.
Who, or What, makes you fall to pieces?

These are my T.Notes.

Picture: Flavio Gasperini