There’s a certain release that comes from taking a literal pause to acknowledge your pain.
I have previously just carried on as normal, with the occasional wince.
But some day, it all comes crashing down as if reality is grabbing your neck and forcing you to acknowledge that life intends to break you.
I understood for a moment why it's called a broken heart
That jarring feeling of walking through the pages of your life and realizing that the clatter beneath every step are the million pieces of your shattered heart,
Being reduced to smitterings with every day of unmet expectations.
Sometimes the ironic and cliche is the truth - even more so for the cynic at heart,
The boys that insist to the world that they have become men,
And so God forbid that stray tear that dare trickle down the stubble of your manly beard.
I have read that hope deferred makes the heart sick - i think sick is a gross understatement of the truth.
I have heard of people who shake clinched hateful, yet faithful fists up to the heavens, and....now....now i don't judge them.
Who are we deceiving, these are not good times.
And the biggest challenge is carrying on as if everything were alright.
Afteral, it only just life.
How do you deal with "life"?
How do you deal with "life"?
That feeling inside, that pain inside that's so bad it almost feels physical.
ReplyDeleteI numb it all.
I choose not to feel.
Its amazing how the pain we strive to avoid is what opens us up to healing. As always, you've penned down excerpts from my story
ReplyDeleteI try to look for solutions and also try to confide in someone trustworthy sometimes...life isn't always a walk in the park i know!
ReplyDeletewww.folasoasis.com
I dunno how you do it Oga Boss T- Notes.. But you strike a cord every. Single. Time I read you sir.. First off.. I am JUST 23. But then the "just" limits me and says to m "Duru.. Enjoy your life.. Wait for tomorrow before you start to achieve.." So i like to say sir, that I am 23 years and 11 months old... so it makes me feel older and realize that tomorrow i will be a day older than today.. Remembering that now ehhnnn.. I will be 24 in a month oh.. **Shivers.. Aha! Where did all the years go?! #ItcanonlybeGOD
ReplyDeleteThing is sir.. Life will always be life. and until i met Janyl Benyl and learnt to acknowledge this fact.. i kweSHioned every failure, sadness or pain.. Boss Life will screw us up without a condom and leave us fertilized with a fetus called hope.. Now its up to us to either abort this child.. Or nurture her to BECOME.. and become Greatness, Triumph and Testimony.. Its up to us.. Have i said that its okay to Cry :) Yes it is.
Do i know enough about life?! Hell to the No! (Please read that with a KONK Igbo Accent sir..) But what I do know for sure eez that "Life will be life.." And that at the end of everything.. Everything will be alright.. So if everything is not alright now..at this very moment.. Then we are not at the end.. So leRRus neFer give up on our dreams.. Hopes.. or Aspirations. Tomorrow is Brighter. Tomorrow I will be older :) Cheers sir.
Oh Boss.. I just read this again and it felt Brand new.. This line pricked my heart shhaaa.. the one that went:
Delete"....realizing that the clatter beneath every step are the million pieces of your shattered heart"
GOD has in recent times taught me something Chairman.. He has taught me to take Pain and embarrassments as Crude oil... and from same Refine manyyyyyy Petroleum products.. These are not good "TIMES" for real Chief of Staff.. But they are "TIMES" regardless.. Hence they must be optimally maximized. Cheers.
P.S: Insha Allah yeah Boss.. I am scheduled to be 24 in a bit sir.. and i literally feel mega OLD already :( Where did my Years Go Oga Boss T-Notes?! :( Where did they go?! Cheers sir..
These are not good "TIMES" for real Chief of Staff.. But they are "TIMES" regardless..
DeleteDeep words Duru....deep words....
Life is a mystery... Acknowledge your pain, but don't let it defeat you. Heart breaks, challenges, issues in life... See them avenues for growing. Tears let them fall, so that your eyes can be cleaned out, your mind rested for a bit and your vision clear. Remember still to guard your heart as life happens. My friend when determination to be fine sets in, don't hinder it
ReplyDeleteThe pains, the aches, the tears, they are all part of the big picture. You will eventually look back on "dem" days and wonder why you were so worried and distraught. Acknowledge the pain, the tears, the aches, because you are after all human. Pull on a pity party, get some TLC. But DO NOT let those become your new identities. We have to, yes, we, because we all have struggles, keep keeping on. As long as you have breath, you should consciously make the decision to keep hope alive. Yorubas say "ojo iku ni ojo isinmi" (the day of death is the day of rest), till then, we trudge on. We stumble and fall and whine to all the cherubs we know, but we gotta be ready to get up and try again.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I need you to check something here: http://honeydame1.blogspot.com.ng/2015/10/its-intentional.html
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ReplyDeleteBlessings...
ReplyDeleteWith everything in life there are ebbs and flows, valleys and peeks, it is the ying and yang of things, your job is to live, love, laugh, cry, rage, vent, learn, love again and keep it moving in spite of, regardless of, just because ......... like air you will continue to rise, until, until.
peace.
Blessings T.
DeleteJust popped in to say hello and to wish you an enjoyable week.
Oh the pain, I hate pain and I grow numb to it.
ReplyDeleteBut some days I just can't help but feel the sharp pain...but as the saying goes Life goes on.
Popped in to wish you a blessed week.
ReplyDeleteMen, it's real in these streets. I can't even shout.
ReplyDelete