Father said I'll do well in New York.
'You'll contend with the best of them and soar high with this mind of yours...
But you may only go so far
until you reach glass ceilings.
When they shut the door in your face the second time, don't waste a moment, just come back home T.N....
Just come back home....'
Father's words echoed in my ears all through today as I started lifeless into my work station...
Your technical skills are undoubtedly remarkable, but we think Gareth is a more suitable fit....
Would somebody please remind me what I am doing in this place?
Race is not the issue...that's what I've always said to myself every morning, until today....
Today I conceded to defeated thoughts about returning home.
*le sigh*. I understand. Truly, I do. I have lost count of all the doors that have been closed in my face in DC when I know for a fact, that I CANNOT be unemployed one day in Lagos. I question myself all the time, question all the decisions I am making and wonder if it will ever pay off one day... I hope it will but I have no guarantees, no assurances. Today, I told myself to consider returning to another country I used to work... I may just go back. I wish you all the best with your decision...sometimes, home is home. And all the things we search for may just be found at home. Sending hugs and prayers your way.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ayodeji. That's exactly my point - how many doors should you count before you say you've had it. I often try to be objective and remind myself of the countless challenges weer also have to face at work back home, hence telling myself that office politics is office politics. I guess what just makes it all the frustrating is the 'adding skin colour to the rest of the countless annoyances that are typical of workplace'. Questioning yourself...I literally have to plug in earphone music for most days to down out the doubting arguments. Home is home, but we all know the stark realities of home and the situations that caused our feet to wander in the first place, whilst our hearts kept looking back.
DeleteMaybe tomorrow it'll be better, but today I am tired.
Thanks though.
T.N
Hold ur head up high and never doubt your abilities!
ReplyDeleteAll the best bro!
Musco, ku ise o. That's how you dropped out of radar!
DeleteBut thanks.... I'm trying.... You understand more than most.
Hug time. This is a hug-so-tight-i'm-choking-you type of hug
ReplyDeleteLol. Thanks jare Toinlicious! I'm mostly over the annoyance now.
DeleteI know that feeling
ReplyDeleteSomeday, every little sweat will pay off if you keep focusing on the end goal and not the process
I think that was partly the selfish intent of the post...to hear a couple of ya'll recognize the familiar frustration.
DeletePay off...yeah, that's the faith and motivation. #KeepMoving.
Oh T.Notes xoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks Dew :)
DeleteI know this feeling and this situation...it gets tiring...stay strong, things might get better, e-hugs
ReplyDeleteThinking about it....how many countries have you worked now?!!
DeleteThanks Lara :)
Bros.... biko, just chill and be rational. I am on the other extreme. Right now, I feel as though Nigeria is not for me at the moment, but like you said, how many more doors need to be shut in my face before I say enough is enough? I dunno sha...Let's all just hang in here...abi?
ReplyDeleteI don't think Nigeria is for anybody jare. Nobody deserves unnecessary stress in life. But we don't exactly have a say in where our roots lie. If you genuinely into the camp of 'fight for the betterment of Naija', then as with all hustles, we remain positive for change. If you've given your best and things are not looking up, I'm all about being rationale and exploring options for a change in location. In all, we hang on and give life our best shot.
DeleteLet me know how things go.
#Hustle United.
sighh being a "suitable fit'.... graduation is in june and I just started job hunting online and I was asked to send in my picture and also describe my skin and eye color. what does that have to do with anything ?? stay positive..things will get better!
ReplyDeleteThanks Bellz!....On the positive, I did get my job offer whilst working on my dissertation. It's not all doom and gloom really. I always think that with dogged determination and desperate prayers, anything is possible. Give things your best shot, i'm positive it'll work out for you too.
DeleteHoller if you need any pointers.
hayyyy...my love!!!! is this what you were going through when I was giving you a hard time? Why you no talk na? I for no yab you reach like that.
ReplyDeletePele...ma binu!
where them dey? tell me, tell me...i will bitch slap anybody that is trying you!
hang in there...'with men it might be impossible but with God, all things are possible..' so hang in there! God has you.
Kiah of life! Lol!
DeleteThanks dear.
I don't even need to give you a long reply.
I can't say I know the feeling but I know you'll be fine... Just be awesome! xx
ReplyDeleteHaha!!!
Delete#Don't forget to be awesome --- that's actually been my mantra since then!
See how awesome minds think alike!
Thanks!
Come home, or close to home (Gh). I can't promise it'll be better and I can't say it'll be worse. Whichever way, I can promise you there'll be other complaints, but at least you know you can strike the race card out.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but nowhere is perfect.
Dentaa, get me a decent offer in Gh, with a chauffeur and a cook and a sunny Patio pool and...the works...and i'll be on that next plane to Accra!
DeleteGood point though...you know what they say about the grass on the other side being only tacky synthetic from Argos!
You know if I found that offer (if it does exist), there's no way I'm not taking it for me.
DeleteSorry, I'm not loving you more than me :p
To think that we had something good going on here!
DeleteBut we do ;)
DeleteI promise to pick you up from the airport
life gets better, just like every other trial its actually a moment, race might not be an issue here but some places tribe is..it will be fine
ReplyDeletelove your blog...wanna follow eachother?
let me know
www.mystyleorgy.blogspot.com
Hi Desola!
DeleteThanks for dropping by. I'll certainly check out and follow yours also in a minute.
Indeed, staying positive.
Hmmmnn Boss Keep Keeping on. As all the commenters are giving you E-hugs and Choking Hugs ( I would like to receive one of that in real life from Toin sha oh ;) ) let me just give you an E-Punch on the shoulder. I hate to seem color Choosy (not to use the real Term), but when those guys do it to us, i just remind myself that my color makes me stronger, Finer (not Rainbow like) and even smarter. This is enough compensation for me. Abegi Bros, Fashi those people, its never worth the thought, about coming to Naija, Bros no even think am Sir! here they shut Gates at peoples faces, not doors, Well unless your uncle is the Gate man sha. Ehen Boss T.N I caught feelings again oh! She left (okay Ran) from me Yesterday Cries, i will soon bag a PHD in Sharp sharp feelings catching. :) :) :) But Oh well, that one dey. Bigger you Sir.
ReplyDeleteHeyyy, Chief-of-Staff! You kow your comments always crack me up!!!
DeleteLoool!!! It thought you were all about #TeamNaija?!!!
To think that after all those years of dutifully reciting the national anthems, and NYSC pledge....all na film trick!
But like you rightly said, we keep on keeping on.
Details details...Does Toinlicious happen to be involved in this story?
Ah! If Toin was the centre of my story, me and every crazy friend i have would be on our knees begging her to stay :) :) She seems like a really awesome lady. Back to the matter Boss T.N: my CF Runawayee isn't Toin, its some Blogger i fell helplessly for. As at when i write this, she had come back, and then left again(my case is critical shey? well story of my life i guess) Soon sha i will fill you in on the full gist. #stillHeartbroken :(
Delete